Death's Testament

Testament 8

   Hello and yes, I’m still here and writing from Siberian Russia but I feel that there is very little places for me to myself and to be away from some of the chaos for a moment. I was walking at night a few nights ago and stopped by a woman and asked who I was as I told her who I was and I noticed she didn’t believed me so her and I walk and talked. She did start to believe in me and asked me if I am lonely now at first I didn’t know what she meant then it hit me and my heart was filled with sorrow. All of the memories that I’ve seen people be taking by me and others all hit me even the ones I cared most some I haven’t seen in over hundreds of years and it still torments me to this day.

That night was a wakeup call for myself and honestly I have been slipping lately when it comes to work and if you think I can’t make mistakes your wrong. There is times wish I can take a day off but imagine what would happen if I did even if it was a day the order would be out of balance and yes some of you probably think that “oh I can do its easy.” Trust me it is not easy and what I deal with every day it hurts. I think the ones that get me most are when children are involved. Day in and out most people just don’t seem to care about others and the ones that do I consider a rare breed like the woman I met a few nights ago. Maybe I just might let someone take over one day if they have the drive to do it but being able to handle it well that is up to them. I don’t know that is a bad idea waiting to happen but there are people that experience hell every day. People in parts of Mexico all of North Korea except for the rich and some third world countries. I’m sorry that I’m like this it just I really haven’t had any time to my self lately. I want to show the world that I do exist but if I it will reject me even more who know what will happen. Maybe better off just doing this and seeing some people every so often to keep a balance. I would still like to see some more people and get to know man a little better that what I usually cope with but only time will tell. Still sometimes the peace and quite is very nice and sometimes I do need it but yearn to be if people sure many of have flaws and do many things I hate seeing but it is something I would love to do.

It is like you call a catch twenty two I want to be with people but can’t because of what I have done and what I am. For those that say they can’t be around people their wrong you have to have some sort of contact or go a dark pit of despair trust me I know from experience. After my little incident I did not see man nor God for maybe fifty years wait it might be less look it was a long time before I saw anyone I still did my job but it was difficult until a small boy walking beside me. I didn’t see him at first but when I did I almost panicked and flew away but I stopped and asked him “Why follow me all I bring is death and despair I’m not liked by anyone and yet you are beside me.” The boy says ” I follow not because what you have done or what you can do but give others to look forward later on in life to appreciate in life at least that’s what my dad said to me.’ I get down to on to one knee and say “Your father is a wise man and yes you should live life to its fullest.” I take the boy home and see his mother and father both look very worried. I assured them he wasn’t going with me. . .yet but the boy lived to have good life and when I did come for him he was ready. I saw lying on the bed look for me one he did he nodded knowing his time come and passed. Well it is that time I try to write some more soon.

Sincerely Yours,

Angel of Death